Hi everyone, I'm Catherine (belletrist9 on MUA) and this is my first post here. =) Like I stated in my introduction email, I'm a 21-year-old bioengineering undergraduate working two jobs this summer (research intern and web assistant) trying to save up for tuition. I'm out of state and my parents don't contribute much - I was blessed, truly blessed to receive a very generous grant-in-aid this year that may mean I don't have to take out any additional private loans... but I've been horribly overspending for the last 2-3 months. I decided to go on an all-out no-buy starting 7/8 when I made the Laura Mercier grab bag haul 'till the end of August with a strict low-buy (I haven't decided quite yet, but I'm thinking $100/month for discretionary non-groceries spending?) thereafter.
I live with my SO and he's been really understanding about trying to help me cut down my spending. I've stopped buying food on campus for lunch/snacks and tried to bring my own more (and remember to eat my meals, I simply don't get hungry) so that's helped a lot, but what made me really STOP myself was Kenoki's MUA post about tallying up her yearly m/u expenditures. I lump makeup/skincare/bath&body/clothes/accessories... basically everything I don't NEED, and I think my June accessory expenditures totaled to ~$350. That scared me enough... haha... I'm still too scared to count up my yearly expenditures (since I really got into makeup last December). I'm still afloat with no credit card debt, but I have a staggering amount of student loans and I feel like... I really could put more towards my education so I don't have to take out more loans. There are also those times where I can't quite make my credit card payment and my rent payment at the same time, so I'm a week or two late on the rent (SO writes the entire check and then I write him a check, which he's very understanding about but it makes me feel like CRAP.) 'till my next paycheck comes in.
It was really hard going cold-turkey at first and I've had a few slip-ups here and there. I also have a "beauty blog" of sorts (Pretty Shiny Things) and even though I've tried staying off the MUA boards I still read about people just buy-buy-buying all the time! I'm trying to stick with reviewing what I already have right now. I got a new lipstick 7/16 - Jane Iredale Lily. I was just so damn excited about finding a lipstick with SPF that I can use - even SO agreed it'd be a good idea since my lips are so dry and chapped and scarred already (I'm allergic to chemical sunscreens so none of the drugstore chapsticks do me any good). Then, last week with the Zoya 5000 Twitter code I paid shipping for three new nailpolishes. Today I finally caved and made a small EDM purchase. I have about 2 weeks left of foundation and 5 days left of finishing powder (neither of which will last me until September, so it's either re-order or go without). I feel guilty though. I was only going to buy the foundation and the finishing powder... but for an extra $10 I got a small personal kit so I could get double the foundation/finishing powder as well as 2 brushes. I asked SO and he said it totally made sense. I saved about 50% by buying more but ugh. I still feel guilty about it haha. I'm afraid my mascara's going to go bad soon (3 months, 1 week old) and that $10 would have been half of my mascara.
The worst part of it is I've been sick a lot this summer and I pay out of pocket for urgent care at Student Health since I'm not on the school's health insurance. Which means even with the gains I've made cutting back my expenses... July is actually more expensive than June was. That depresses me so much. =/
The mascara is HG. The toner's also about out and SO and I both use it. I know I'm already going to have to put 1/2 of September's allowance towards that. But I am eyeing Fresh's Rose Freshface Primer, as well as the Tsumori Chisato for Shu Uemura Collection... and what about the boots & belts (I literally have zero belts right now since I lost my only one) for Fall? Or a couple new cardigans? And maybe one more pair of jeans (I have 2). It's so stressful, hahaha. And so silly - sometimes I want to just bash my head in because I am really so much better off than so many people all around the world and that I am so stressed out by such stupid material things makes me so angry sometimes.
I'm even having trouble shopping my own stash since my stash really isn't all that big (hoping to take pictures for you guys soon, but I've been coming home around nightfall every day of the week during the week so I just haven't had good light/good time yet). I have a very serviceable collection of eyeshadows, but I feel like everything else is in pretty good proportional order. I have 9 lipsticks, 7 of which are wearable, 2 blushes, 1 bronzer, 2 highlighters, 1 mascara, only one foundation and one finishing powder. All the makeup I own minus eyeliners, mascara, and brushes fit in one small bathroom drawer (partly because I literally have no where else to put it). The rest sits on top of my side of the bathroom counter.
Plus I'm so tired. I work ~60hrs a week in lab in bioengineering and as web assistant to one of the departments of engineering. I get paid more for the web assistant job, but arguably the bioengineering research is far more rewarding and valuable to my future career. I am incredibly lucky to have been offered a small stipend for my research this summer but the work is so exhausting. I spend ~2 hours commuting even though campus is literally 10 minutes drive away since I don't have a car (15 minute walk + ~15 minute wait for bus + 15 minute bus ride + 15 minute walk) and I stay on campus ~8-10 hours depending on how the day is. With the amount of sleep I need, I barely have time to come home and eat dinner before I have to go to sleep... I'm so frustrated because there were a couple of personal projects I wanted to get started this summer... as well as learning new skills that would improve my earning power in the future. I also wanted to cook more, bake more. Now I'm barely home enough to do anything. And since I realized I'd lost 8 lbs since February (I don't have the kind of frame that 8 lbs is an acceptable loss - right now I weigh less than 100lbs at 5'4" - especially since now I get so damn cold in the air-conditioned buildings) I'm trying to eat better and start an exercise routine so I can gain back some weight in muscle. I literally don't get hungry. I have to set myself an alarm. I usually don't notice I haven't eaten until my acid reflux kicks in. I'm exhausted constantly. And cranky. And I've realized the high from buying shiny things only lasts about 1-2 days at best. It's depressing and it doesn't actually solve anything.
Ack. Sorry for the long rant. It's just been bothering me so much lately...
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I'm really sorry to hear abt your health problems. Once you have health insurance I would totally advocate getting chiropractic care. Not cause I'm a chiropractor but cause I personally & have seen so many patients' general health get so much better with chiropractic care.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty abt that purchase. It's done.....so move on from here. When your SO agrees too, I say go for it! :D
I think it's amazing that you are trying to do this for yourself. Going on a low buy to put towards your tuition? That's amazing.
It's hard but you need to take better care of yourself dear. The not eating? No good at all. Is there any farmers' market where you are? Get stuff from there & make your own meals. I cook alot & we save alot when we stay at home to eat. Plus it's healthier when you recognising what you put into your food/meal prep/etc.
Do you share rent with SO?
Part of your exhaustion is due to your nutrition habits. I want you to do a food journal for a week. Keep it with you & write down what you're eating each meal/snack/etc (incuding drinks --- water, soda, juice, milk, etc). From there, start planning your meals out. You NEED proper nutrition before you start working out. If you don't consume enough protein, you're just going to cannibalize your own existing muscles.
Email me if you need more info hun. Oh! & email me your address too. :D
Out of curiosity, what is your HG mascara?
I ♥ Tsumori Chisato for Shu Uemura Collection but it is way too pricey :(
gingitsune - you really hit the nail on the head! Really great comment.
ReplyDeleteHi Joy & Irene, thank you so much for your kind words. Joy, your email really made my day. =) SO and I eat pretty healthy and cook almost all of our dinners at home... it's just that Thai-style stir fry can get pretty boring after the 7th day in a row, and I get bored more easily than he does haha. I do share rent with my SO... I actually pay only 1/3 of what he does and none of the utilities. He's on full scholarship + stipend, so his reasoning is that with my loans and inflation, I'm actually paying more than he does in the end... and I know he does it because he can and because he cares about me, but it does eat at me sometimes that I honestly couldn't afford to live like we do without him.
ReplyDeleteI promise to do the food journal. =) It looks like I've gained 1 lb since two weeks ago, so that was a heartening start. My goal is to gain ~20 lbs in the next year (8 more than I've ever weighed in my life - I've basically always been underweight as long as I can remember and my mom was too until she got pregnant with me... the 20 lbs would get me in the normal BMI range though, so that's my goal).
My HG mascara is Kiss Me Heroine Long & Curl... it's a Japanese drugstore mascara, but it lifts, lengthens & holds curl like nothing else I've ever tried. It's a fiber mascara... and I don't know of any US drugstore ones... I've also tried the mini version of Too Faced Lash Injection and I didn't like it. =/ I did like Maybelline FnS WP which I might go back to, but it'd start migrating down my face so I'd get raccoon eyes by 5pm and it's even more humid during the summer now than in winter... (only on my top lashes too) =/
Cat! Emailing you! :D
ReplyDeleteI have nothing to add other than, Catherine, this was a great and revealing post. And kind of sad! But regardless it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Easier said than done, but I wouldn't stress too much - you have really specific concerns, and just as specific goals. Winning combo.
ReplyDeleteAnd Joy's advice is awesome.